Being nocturnal is not a lifestyle choice.

The humans have developed a terrible habit lately. They don't refill our food bowls before they go to sleep at night. By dawn, Jasper and I are hungry and pleading for sustenance. In this new mini-house, they've compounded the problem by only putting out the yummy soft food and tuna during the day.

Let's think about this a little bit. Cats are nocturnal. Nocturnal means that Jasper and I are hardwired to sleep during the day and be active at night. If I'm active at night, it might also stand to reason that I eat at night, too. Often, the humans go to bed before the night gets properly started. They just don't see me eat that often.

Trust me; by nighttime, the yummy soft food is far from yummy. It's pretty bad if we don't get to it within the first hour or so. In effect, we're living on half-rations, which means that the bowl of dry food is empty before the night is half over, while the bowl of spoiled wet food goes untouched.

The conclusion seems pretty obvious to me: put more food in the dry bowl, or feed us the wet food after dark.

The humans, however, seem to believe that I'm not eating. She's put me on the scales twice in the last three days. That always means she's not happy with my weight, but what did she expect to happen? It's a pretty clear-cut case of cause and effect: if the available food is nasty, I don't eat as much; if I don't eat as much, I lose weight.

I hope they don't overreact like last time and start squirting the meat-pudding into my mouth. I hate that stuff.