Sunday, April 20, 2008

Torture is unconstitutional.

Yeah, I know feline-Americans aren't yet recognized as citizens. That'll change soon enough. We have a plan. That's all I'm saying. And when we get our full rights granted by law, some things are going to change. For one, it will no longer be legal to torture your cats by allowing strange people to come into your residence and mess with the furniture.

When the humans left yesterday to go out and have their fun, they locked us in the playpen. Which wasn't great to begin with. But then this strange woman towing a huge plastic cart bursts into the room. I was drinking at the time, and I was so startled, I kicked over the dish while I was scrambling to hide and spilled water everywhere. And of course Jasper also has to hide in the one good spot, inside the tube on the scratching post, so we're both jammed in there while this woman tears the place apart. I swear I've never heard so much noise before. It's like she was looking for hidden treasure or something.

Anyway, the noisy woman finally leaves, but now the sun is shining through the window and all over the playpen because the humans rolled up the blanket. What, do they think we like being exposed to the elements? So Jasper and I stayed holed up inside that tube until they got home. It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't as crowded as you might think. Cats are fuzzy. We can squeeze into some pretty tight spaces. Like under the bed. Which is where I wanted to be.

So that sucked, but today was a little better. The humans let us have the run of the mini-house while they were out today doing who knows what (but I suspect it involved animals of some sort because boy, did they smell funky when they got back). And they pulled the blanket down over the playpen, so I had some privacy while using the facilities. Seriously, there are birds outside. I don't want them watching me use the litter box.

Mostly, I stayed under the bed. Jasper roamed all day, except when it sounded like one of those noisy carts or other humans was coming to our door. Then he was briefly sensible and hung out with me. No one else has come into the mini-house, but they really need to do something about all these strange noises we hear outside. I don't know what's going on out there, but there are way too many people way too close to our door.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. Happy Passover.

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